How Learning Stoicism Helped Me Lead

What changes when you stop splitting life into “work” and “home” and see oneself showing up everywhere? We took our mentees out of the daily grind for three days and came back with a sharper way to lead, parent, and live—built on a practical form of Stoicism that anyone can use. Not numbness. Not suppression. A simple loop you can apply in traffic, in meetings, and at the dinner table: trigger, pause, assess, act.

We unpack how instant reactions create needless damage—road rage that spirals, feedback that turns into blame, leadership that confuses emotion with action. Then we flip the lens: add context and your feelings change without anything external shifting. That’s power. We walk through responsibility mapping, “above the line” language, and coaching moves that stop excuse cycles and return control to the person who needs it most: you. Along the way, we stress-test the limits—can regulating emotions flatten joy? Where does empathy meet consequence? How do you hold standards without becoming cold? Expect real stories from the build site and the home front: tough vendor calls, parenting moments, and the subtle reframes that salvage days.

The heartbeat of the conversation is perspective. Memento mori—remember you must die—and its partner memento vivere—remember to live—form a compass for better choices. Avoid the trap of YOLO chaos and the dead end of “I’ll live later.” Train, invest, and plan like you’ll be here; laugh, love, and take the shot like time is short. To drive it home, we offer a thought experiment: with eight billion lives in the deck, would you put your card back to redraw? If not, your life is already rare. Use it. Build teams that own outcomes, respond instead of react, and choose values over mood, every time.

If this hit a nerve, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs the pause button, and leave a quick review. Want a daily reminder? Subscribe and DM us “Memento Mori” on Instagram for a chance to receive the coin we carry as a prompt to live on purpose.

Transcript

Retreat Recap And Why We Left Town

George 0:00

So I recently went away with some mentees for our vitality training.

unknown 0:07

Nice.

George 0:07

Three days away. Went to the Central Coast. And yeah, we dive deep into everything life. What did you think of the Central Coast? I thought it was like I'm not in a rush to go back there. It was nice, but there wasn't that much to do. Like there was No, it's a small town. Yeah, that's right. It was very, for those of you in Melbourne, it was very peninsula-esque. Like Mount Martha, like we stayed in Terragal, which I think is the nicer part of the Central Coast there. And yeah, it gave me Mount Martha vibes. You reckon? Yeah, like the night, yeah, the nice part of Mount Martha on the mountain there. So yeah, I I liked it. But as I said, to go there for a holiday specifically, me from Melbourne, I don't know if I would do that.

Robby 0:50

Yeah, some you wouldn't go back.

George 0:53

Yeah, like I'm in no rush to go back. Like it was nice to have gone past and seen it. Um, but yeah, no, no huge rush to go back there. But regardless, I like to go away when we do that vitality training and get interstate somewhere. Even in Melbourne, I would go somewhere in Melbourne, but go away somewhere.

SPEAKER_03 1:11

Yeah.

Breaking Groundhog Day For Owners

Introducing Stoicism Properly

George 1:11

And just get out of the whole aspect of being in business. And that's kind of what I like doing with all those training with my um my mentees is getting away for three days and going deep in the topic that we're going to teach. And this one had a focus around life and vitality. There was a lot of mindset, leadership, um, health, uh, everything you do in and out of your business, you know, because people often look at it and go, I have my personal life and then I have my business life. It's like the they're two separate things. You magically transform into a different person when you step into the office and you transform into a different person when you get home. But it's the same fucking life. It's the one thing that there's overlap. There's overlap, but you're not a magical person in one and a different person in the other. You're the same person. So it's about how you how you show up to each of those each day. And that's what we wanted to spend three days on because I find that in my space anyway, it's very quick. And look, it's probably any business owner, really. You've it's really easy to just get stuck in the day-to-day with everything. Like you come in, work, pump out your hours, get you're so busy, and then you go home and it's you repeat. It's just groundhog day each and every day. And before you know it, 2025 is over, and you're already into you're already halfway fed through February, right? And it's like, well, what's changed? What's different? Why are you doing the same thing every day? So it was good to have that reset and to go through that aspect and really dive deep in many aspects of it, you know. I even got people to tears. You didn't tell you that. Yep. I got people to tears.

Robby 2:46

Well, I actually so I haven't heard about this training because we you were it's very recent.

George 2:51

Yeah, yeah. It was literally from the time we're recording this, it was four days ago, five days ago, yeah, that we returned back. So, yeah, it's very recent. So I haven't we haven't really spoken too much about it. But yeah, at the end day, the last day I got people in tears. Well, tell us what happened. Well, I don't want to give the training away, but let's before we get into the tears aspect of it, there was a section. No, no, I will try, I will. No, let's try right now. I can't, I can't now. I've sort of broken it up. But uh the we I did a part on stoism, which I thought was really powerful. And for a couple of reasons. Because I feel that I resonate a lot with Stoism at the moment. Stoicism, stoicism, however you say it. That yeah, and the Greeks invented it's all invented it just the Greeks invented everything just to put it. That's right. This one's Lebanese, yeah. Um, but they didn't really run with it as much as the Romans did. The Romans were the ones that really took it on board and and went through there and and made it a part of their life back then.

Robby 3:50

Okay, so for for someone who's listening now, and and and myself included, like I know what it is, but I don't I would like to know more.

Trigger Pause Assess Act

Road Rage And Useless Reactions

George 3:59

Yeah, I'm curious about so and look, I don't claim to be an expert. No, but let's just talk about it. Yeah, it's more of a topic that I have a chat about. So, what stoism is is effectively how you are reacting and manage your emotions to certain events in your life, to anything, really, to however anything happens. And there's this perception with being stoic that you're just unemotional and shut off. And it's not about that at all. So, what most people would do in a stressful situation or a high pressure situation is you'll have the trigger, right? So that moment that happens to you right then. And then most of the time, what people do is react. All right. So if I say you're I you have the ugliest blue hat in the world and you're a failure, they'd be like, fuck you, man, you got no idea what real blue looks like, and I'm not a failure. I won yesterday. You know, that's the first reaction. They just want to go and they tap into that emotion of anger, hurt, shame, whatever it might be. Whereas stoism would be more like, okay, you have the ugliest blue hat in the world, and I hate you, you're a horrible person. There'd be a pause. Okay. So you're you're taking it in, right? So you're not reacting, you're assessing. That'll be the very first thing. And then you go, okay, well, how come? Like, why would you feel that way? I mean, you're entitled to your opinion. That's absolutely fine. I wish you all the best. And you can let it go like that. Now, um, so what it is, it's trigger, you pause, assess, and then act. Whereas the other way is the trigger, react, um, the react, sorry, trigger, react, and then the consequence effectively, right? With whatever happens thereafter. So stoism is a way of really just controlling your emotions and understanding that the situation is what it is. You can't control what other people do or what other factors happen outside of your own environment. Now, you being stoic gives you that control. And I found that over the years I'd started to do that without really knowing what being stoic was about. And then I started to research into it a little bit as well. And I'm currently reading a book and still reading through it at the moment. But what I what I really liked about it was when I started to put it into practice, when I started to look at things like that in my life, it really helped me navigate difficult things. It really helped me navigate and get through something from a perspective of it ended up being a much better result for me by not reacting. And I saw this thing the other day. Everyone's done this before. You ever been in the car? Someone cut you off or slams the brakes or whatever, sticks the finger up at you for something you haven't done. And like you're on the, you're on the horn, like, you know, straight on the horn. Fuck you. What do you know? You're a dickhead hanging out the window, right? Nothing, nothing ever good happens from doing that. Ever. And like, when was the last time? Has it ever happened to you? Yeah, of course. Okay, cool. So when it happened, what was the what color was the car? Okay. What was it, man or woman? Obviously a woman. I'll probably see a woman. I was always going down that path. Sorry, ladies. You knew it was happening. Don't shoot. You knew you this was gonna happen when you tuned in. Like it's your own fault for listening. Yeah. Let's be honest. Um, what color hair did they have? What color dress was it were they wearing? You know, like you can't tell because none of it really mattered. And I heard someone say, like, how out of control of you are uh are you of your emotions if something like that would trigger you so bad? All right, to react in such a way. Because what if you took it another step further? You stood up, uh stood, opened the door and got out of the car, and then the person got out of the car, and then it's like, okay, you now punch on, and you you you punch him in the face, and then he falls over, hits his head on the toe bar, and he dies. Or because he just cut in front of you because he didn't see you there, and you got into this massive punch on, someone dies, and now you're in jail. All right. So nothing good would ever come from you reacting in such a way. Whereas if you can now have control of your emotions and can look at it in a way of just going, well, these are factors outside of my control. I can't control what that person does whilst he's driving or how he reacts or what he does, it doesn't affect me. All that I can control is what I'm doing here right now.

Robby 8:12

Can I share two two variations of that same thing? Absolutely. And I think this is really cool. I can't remember where I read this, read it in a book somewhere. Uh, the first one is like the whole so what you just said about you know, you get cut off, like if you flipped out, you you're not really being stoic. Yeah. Right, in the sense of you don't have control of your emotions. The other side of that is like, okay, if you were driving home, let me let me let me paint a picture for you. Okay. What would be the greatest day for you, George? What would be the greatest day? Like, what would be a day where you're like, fuck man, this is fuck off. What a life. Like a life, yeah, like honestly, it would probably just be out having fun, Tuesday.

Context Flips Feelings Instantly

George 8:53

That's it. Just just live in the dream. You guys have no idea. No, just I'd say out with the family, just having a fun day outdoors. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be a great day. But like, like, what would really make it like like this is like just laughing, carrying on, playing games.

Robby 9:11

It's like you see your kids happy, then you get an email and they're like, George, we're gonna build of Pascal. Yeah, and then you're like, this is sick, and then you check your other email and you got all these new people sign up to build an elite. Yeah, and then it's like, what a day, what a life.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

Yeah, exactly.

Robby 9:25

And you look and you've got everything in front of you, everyone's healthy, right? And then you take off and you're like ecstatic. You're like, this is unbelievable, the sun's shining, blue skies, I'm in my new car. Yeah, and then someone slightly cuts you off, you're not gonna care in that moment. You're gonna be like, but you're not, life's too good right now. Yeah, that's right. So it's like, okay, if you flip out, you weren't happy before it. If something little triggered you to flip out, you weren't that happy before it.

SPEAKER_03 9:52

Yep.

Robby 9:52

That's one side of the equation. Yes, yes. Okay. So it's like, were you really initially happy before it? Because if you were, if you were ecstatic, if you were 10 out of 10 with your life, you probably wouldn't have flipped out over that little thing. But because you have all these little things bubbling and surfacing, it's like you're just it's like the the the straw that broke the camel's back.

George 10:09

Yeah, of course.

Robby 10:10

It's like everything is everything seems normal, seems normal. Someone says something, you're like, shut the fuck. It's like then without it.

George 10:16

Yeah, there's a definitely an element of that, but then it also goes further with even really big things. So, say a death. Like, how do you react in that moment of death? A parent's dying. Okay, like the stow, like being stoic would then be like, wow, like what an amazing life they lived. I'm so grateful to have been a part of that life and do this. And I'm so grateful for them raising me for sacrifice for this, for this, for this. And it wouldn't be sadness, it would be happiness for the life they lived rather than sadness for the death of them right now. So that's how like the other extreme to it is. No matter whether your life is good or bad at any moment, it's just is. That's effectively what it is, what stoism is, or stoicism. How do you say it? Stoicism, stoicism is, is effectively that.

Happiness, Neutrality, And Balance

Robby 10:59

Uh okay, I'll give you a different example with the car situation. But it's still a very good example, what you gave. Yeah, so that's one side. Yeah, because there is a lot of that. It's inside you were already on an unconscious level, you're already bothered. Yeah, but then flip the script. Okay, you're driving, normal day. Someone comes, almost hits you, you're like, fuck, hey, like fuck, and you flip, right? Yay, fucking idiot. Blah blah blah. You don't know how to drive. Of course, woman driver. Of course, right? Sorry, ladies. Um, but let me flip the script for a second. So now, right then, Darren, then you're angry as fuck, yeah. You're like, hey, what the fuck are you doing? You almost ran me off the road. Yeah, blah blah blah. And then what if you find out that that lady was you know, going through a divorce, had a dying parent, was driving home, her kid was choking or something in the back, and all she was trying to do was help the kid, and she almost like cut you off the road. Yeah, exactly. Instantly, it's gone as well. You know, all of a sudden you're like, oh fuck, man.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

I feel bad.

Robby 11:58

Yeah, like it's it's you're almost empathetic. Yeah. Right? And it's like what changes? The the thing is still the same. She almost cut you off the, you know what I mean?

George 12:07

Exactly right. So it's like, what changed? Nothing's changed. It's your reaction, yeah. Context, but also your reaction should, regardless of what's happening in that car, that's why there's no point reacting to it in such a negative way. Yeah, because it's got there's a thousand and one things that could be that reason why they're acting that way. Yeah, so the the point, so it's trying to be it's uh well, you said just about a happiness. I'm sure that stoics aren't overly happy about things as well, because I'm sure it would work the other way. Why? Because if you imply that you're so happy, so happy, with happiness is also sadness. So you're gonna have one or the other. Now, you could be just content and understanding what this is a great day, or this is how life should be. You know what I mean? So there's got to be that I don't like using the word balance, but it's almost that they're and this is why pro people would probably think that a stoic is unemotional. Because they're not, they don't react in the happy, they don't react in the sad.

Robby 13:02

Okay, so let me give you so so I guess the point I was trying to get across, long story short, with that example is you can control how you feel with your thoughts alone. Don't it? Because then that example of both situations, yeah, all of a sudden your your thing changed either because of how you were how you were feeling before it or the context you got after it when you found out that you know her baby was choking, whatever it might be. Um so you can control it, you can control how you feel. And if you're listening to this, you you probably had two very different emotional experiences, or you're probably still flipping out now because you just had someone cut you off. Yes. But but you're back on. Yeah, you probably had a completely different emotional experience based on additional context that was added to the situation.

Responsibility Over Blame At Work

George 13:46

And I gave a very similar example at the training as well. It's like, okay, so let's just pretend I had a petty cash tin downstairs, had 500 bucks in it. Okay, and I've got um Simon's come down, I've got it on camera, he's taken 500 bucks out of the tin. All right, I'll go and I've seen the camera, the footage, everything. Yeah, that's don't fuck around. It's milk expensive. You ever bought milk before? How much is here's a grand, is this enough? And um, you see that he's taking the 500 bucks red-handed, caught on camera. Now, your reaction could be Buck, I can't believe it. You call the police, you call this person, you publicly humiliate him, you press charges, you do everything. And then, as you said, later you find out, well, his kid's dying of cancer, and he's just trying to get money from anywhere, any means possible. Right. And then again, instantly you're like that. Whereas if you were looking back at it and going, well, hang on, as if why would he do something like that? He's never done anything like that before. What's the go? You know, you could speak to you, I said, sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm just going through this, this, this. So, mate, how much do you need? Here, take it. Just take 10 grand when you have the money, pay me back. Or pay me back a thousand bucks a month, whatever it is. Um, what would you do if someone stole from work? Oh, I'd get them in, I'd pull them up with it. I probably wouldn't, because I know everyone and have a very good relationship with everyone straight up, I'd be like, what's going on? Like, this is what have you done? You know, and then if they've got no reason for it, I'd be like, mate, like you're fired. And depending how bad it was, like if we're talking uh they stole a drill or I don't know, 500 bucks out of the petty cash tin, yeah, I'd probably fire them. Um, if it was for no good reason other than them being greedy, malicious, doing the wrong thing, they'd be gone. Yeah, like I'm not gonna accept that standard.

Robby 15:30

Yeah, no way. And that's like I heard this thing the other day, and there was someone saying, That's not the first time they're stole, that's the first time you caught them.

George 15:37

Yeah, yeah, that's right. Down inland. That's right. It could be stealing in other ways. Yeah, yeah. They go home early every day at two o'clock. Yeah, and it's stealing time.

Robby 15:44

I'm paying you for that time. 100%. Yeah, or they're taking something else, or they'll steal from you at a later point, or whatever it might be.

SPEAKER_03 15:50

Yeah.

Robby 15:51

Um yeah. So okay, so going back to the stoicism thing. This just kind of my thought just crept in then. When you said the whole thing around, you know, it's about would you say emotional regulation?

George 16:08

Control.

unknown 16:09

Yeah.

Robby 16:10

To regulate something is to kind of control it.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

Yeah. Uh but you don't so you said you don't get as happy either?

George 16:17

I would say so. But that makes sense to me.

Robby 16:20

Yeah.

George 16:20

From if you're gonna be stoic. Like, why would you you'd be unemotional with happiness, but you'd also be unemotional, unemotional with sadness or pressure, but then you would also be unemotional, not unemotional, I shouldn't use that word, but neutral with happiness and ecstatic things happening as well.

Robby 16:35

Okay, so then would you to flip the script now? Is that like the person who lives the average life?

George 16:46

No. Well, how is that average?

Robby 16:48

Like in what what in what way? So the person who lives the average life doesn't experience the highs of highs, but doesn't also doesn't experience the lows of lows. They kind of go through da-da-da-da-da. You know, everything's kind of okay. They got their salary, they're gonna get their paycheck or their set. Yeah, I can I think that can definitely play into it.

Training Teams To Own Outcomes

George 17:06

Yeah, because it's like you're unemotional. Why why be ambitious? Like, I've got a car, great. I've also got a car.

Robby 17:12

Yeah, you know, it's like, yeah, my car, and it's like I've got a greater car.

George 17:16

Yeah, it's like, yeah. That's fantastic.

Robby 17:18

I've got a worse car, yeah.

George 17:19

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I'm sure there is a level of that too. For sure. That kind of has to be. If you're gonna take it to that extreme, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're flipping.

Robby 17:27

Yeah, without a doubt. Without a doubt. And it's like, okay, I've always I've always thought of stoicism as a good thing. Yeah, me too. You know what I mean? Uh judging from afar. But then if you look at it like that, based on what you said, and it's kind of like emotional regulation, and I I I share this example of like, cool, man, you can live two lives. You can live a life where you have the highs of the highs, and part of that, you know, if the roller coaster goes up, it's got to come down.

George 17:52

Yeah, correct.

Robby 17:53

So you're gonna get the lows of the lows as well, and you get to experience that life, or you get to experience the life where it's like everything's kind of handy dandy. It's like, which one do you want to experience?

George 18:02

Yeah, you know what I mean? Um, yeah, that was a great example you gave. I think you you've given that example before, but even now it's such a great one. And which one would you pick?

Robby 18:11

Yeah, you want you want to experience obvious experience the highs and lows. It's like I'm on going on the ride. Do I want to go on the ride that goes straight and slow the whole time? Absolutely. Yeah, but then but then that's the complete opposite of stoicism.

Do Emotions Dictate Actions

George 18:23

I just fucked this whole thing. Yeah, that's it. Okay, thanks for tuning in, guys. That was a great episode. So don't be stoic. But see, you I think I'd like to pick the parts of it. Yeah, look, all right, and I I I just like to embrace it on one side of the things, you know. Try not to, and don't get me wrong, guys. Like, fuck, I lose my shit sometimes on stupid stuff, or things upset me, right? More than they should. But you know, recently I was um going through a difficult shit in my head with things going on outside of work, and then I was like, it coming back to that point just helped me get through it. I'm like, you know what? It's not that bad, right? The closest 10 people to me in this world are happy, are healthy, are fucking alright, you're doing alright, bro. Like, get moving. And it was that reframe that helped me get through that moment, which was again a level of being stoic, but I think you can like with anything, you can pick the good parts of it. Do you do you think it is?

Robby 19:23

Is it maybe we're looking at it wrong. And maybe this is like, are we is it suppressing emotions?

George 19:32

Uh yeah, I think it can have that effect for sure. I think it can suppress.

Robby 19:38

Is it is it suppressing emotions or is it suppressing emotional behavior?

George 19:43

I think it's that one. Yeah, it's the behavior that's like that's the emotional behavior you don't feel it, but yeah, yeah, yeah. Correct. 100% that's exactly what it is. Okay, save the podcast. Yeah, keep keep listening. We're back. We're back. No, that's exactly what it is. It has to be that because you're you you can still feel it, right? But just wait that 30 seconds and how what's your behavior going to be uh as a result of that emotion for sure.

Robby 20:11

Um, yeah, because then it's like okay, then I don't go and flip out when the person cuts me off. I kind of just take it in for a moment, and then down the road I say, fuck that guy.

George 20:24

Um, but you know, that's funny, like just with that, I that is something I do now. What just flip later? No. Um yeah, it doesn't fit. No, no, no. But if I if something happens to me on the road these days, I tend to just giggle and think about that. It's all right, man. First time driving?

unknown 20:41

Yeah.

George 20:42

See someone driving. Let's see your first time. Man, you got come on, man. What are you doing? So I kind of giggle at myself now. I actually don't ever get because I used to be on the blower, man. I used to be on the horn. Oh, really? Oh, I'd be on the horn all the time. The only time I beat a finger out the window, just like swearing at myself in the car. Like, this guy's even if I didn't get on the horn and you're just swearing, that guy can't hear you. Like, he is not upset or she is not upset by anything you are doing or saying, but you are in your own little bubble in your cocoon of your car. You're the one feeling those at that anger and emotion and all that sort of shit. You're suffering, they're not. You would do that? I would back in the past, yeah. As in, I'd be abusing people in the car.

Robby 21:19

Okay, yeah. I've never been a huge even beeping the whole like you know, when someone does something, unless they're like about to hit me, I I won't beep. Yeah, like even if they do the worst thing ever, I'll just look and shake my head. Like, man. Well, hopefully you don't hit anyone to hurt yourself. Do you know what I mean? Like, Jesus. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

Women, huh? No. You keep going back. It's like you want to get cancelled. It's fun. Yeah. Um, nah, but yeah.

George 21:47

I think we're a lot more tame now than what we used to be when we first started, mind you.

Robby 21:51

It's called uh emotional maturity.

George 21:53

It is. It is. We've grown as a podcast 123, two episodes.

Robby 22:03

Yeah, I I would say yeah, I I don't really beep, man. I don't really flip out of people. I the only time I beep is if someone like the light goes green and they don't go. Yeah. And I'll beep. Like, go. Come on, man.

George 22:16

I still use uh and you can use that with even employees in your business now. You know, you mentioned something, if they do something wrong or whatever it might be, just why why yell straight up? I don't think it's the best result um to do that or get upset. I've never been that type. Have you ever been like that? Well, just if someone does something wrong, like you're like, boy, you are a fucking idiot. Like like saying that to them. Like, what the fuck are you doing? No. Have you ever been like that? I find it odd. Like I've seen video clips of just people losing it at an apprentice or whatever it might be, just talking to people in a really bad way. I know I've never been that way.

Logic, Empathy, And Hard Lines

Robby 22:50

I know people that are like that. Oh uh, they're not like that anymore, but they're saying, like, you know, I used to be a mess. Like I would walk around and just be causing havoc the whole time and just flipping out of everyone, and then I'd go to the next person and start flipping out, and I'd go I'm like, that's hilarious. It's funny now. We find it funny now, because you're not the receiving end of it. Um I I don't I don't do that, but I'll tell you what uh what bothers me when because like I'll try and give so from a leadership slash coaching you know mindset standpoint, if I'm like hey George, like you know, I noticed you did this. Like, can you tell me what happened? Because I want to my thing is like I want to fix it. I don't want you to do it, I don't want them to get the bad thing. It kind of like no one wins in this situation. How do we fix it? I'll tell you what peeves me when people start blaming outside circumstances, huge, blaming in general, yeah. Just like, oh yeah, but um uh this this thing happened or this person, and it's like, hey, like you are relinquishing control, my friend. Yep, you are giving away all the power to say, nah, it's this is out of my control. Not you, I can't do anything about it. You know what I mean? Alex Hormosy shared this great example once, and he goes, so many founders turn around and say, I can't train, I I can't find anyone who can sell like I can. He goes, or the they can reframe that so he has they're claiming it's out of their power. Like people aren't as good as sales as me. He's like, you can reframe that whole thing by saying, I can't train anyone to sell as well as me. It's like all of a sudden, now you're in control. Now it's a you training issue, it's not a everyone else issue.

George 24:34

Yep.

Robby 24:34

You know what I mean? And it's like that bothers me.

George 24:37

I think that happens from an early age because I've seen it with my kids now, right? So I think it's coming, it's happened to people at an early age where they'll blame someone else or they'll see it with their siblings or the parents do it or whatever it might be.

Robby 24:49

What do you can you elaborate?

George 24:51

Yeah, so it actually happened to me yesterday. Something's just silly, all right. So my son was eating some fruit out of a bowl. My wife had just mopped the floors, and he was eating some fruit at the kitchen bench and he dropped it, like it fell out of his hand. And he goes, Oh, it's not my fault. It was slippery. And I'm like, What? I go, hey, hey. Listen to what you just said. And he's like, What? He's like, it's not my fault. Like it slipped out of my hands. Like, what do you want me to do? I said, There's a thousand things you could have done. Okay. First of all, did I pick up the fruit? Did I pick up that slippery mango? No. Whose fingers was it? Who were who like who touched it? It was you. So you it fell out of your hands, no one else's. So, yes, it is your fault. The other thing is you could have got a fork. And I promise you it wouldn't have fallen off onto the ground. Any, you can make a fork, assume. You could have not complained, picked up a napkin, didn't eat a mango, and wiped. Yeah, you could have wiped the floor and be done with it, or you could have just not eaten any fruit. So everything in that scenario, what just happened then, was completely your fault and in your control to make good or bad. Take responsibility. That's all I said to him. So I didn't go too much, but it was I I wanted to jump on him quickly because his first reaction was not my fault.

Robby 26:03

Yeah, I I also think when people say that they tend to mean it wasn't my intention.

George 26:10

Yeah, it was an accident. I didn't mean to do that.

Robby 26:13

And it's like, you know, shit, you didn't mean to do it.

George 26:14

Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

No one wants to throw the food on the floor, it wants to go in your mouth. You think you picked it up to put it in your mouth.

Finding The Line Between Heart And Head

Robby 26:20

Um, but yeah, no, no, I think that's something you've really gotta pull up. But I think there's something tied to it, and it's like a self-worth. Like what I find with it's a self-worth thing. Do you know what I mean? Especially like at a young age, when you're a kid, you haven't built your your self-worth reps yet. Yeah, you haven't built that muscle to know, like, oh no, no, I can't eat fruit. And if I drop one, it's okay, I'm not retarded. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Whereas like if you drop one, oh no, it's uh uh it's not my fault, like you know what I mean. And it's like you're trying to constantly blame something else, if that makes sense. Yep. But yeah, if there's one thing that kind of gets me, it's when not when it happens once, it's when it happens over and over. And you're like, dude, nothing is your fault, like nothing, there's always something else. Yeah, there's always this person, that thing, that program, this day, the sun, the heaters not working, the tech, the internet, the it's like you there's a thousand things to blame. None of them give you control, only blaming one thing does.

George 27:25

Yeah, so when that happens though, because many people aren't trained like us, many people haven't done the reps and own businesses and see the day-to-day everything, then there's responsibility kind of falls on you a bit too to train them and coach them in that space. Yeah. Don't you think? To say, okay, well, look, there's obviously a pattern here. I need you to understand that there's more in your control than you actually think. Let me show you this. You know, and going and showing them process. Like I did a process with my team last quarter, where we would sit down and say, Okay, well, these are the things that are in your control, these are the things that are out of your control. Okay, but ultimately you're responsible for all of these things. Okay. But when you say you're not, you're giving power to everyone else. And me doing that exercise with everyone, I found it very powerful, like for them to actually pick up that concept. And the funny thing was they started to use it within the group, within each other, saying, Oh, are you, you know, like for example, are you playing below the line? And it was good to just see that and go, okay, well, the fact that they're saying that means now they're consciously thinking about when we blame or do something like that, that it is our responsibility, and they're pulling up each other on it. So I thought that was really cool. And it did make me realize at the time that it's my responsibility to also teach them these concepts.

Robby 28:45

Yeah, sometimes it's outside of your team too, though.

George 28:48

What do you mean?

Robby 28:49

Me, I'm just blaming other things.

SPEAKER_00 28:51

Uh what do you mean? It's a joke. Oh, was it? I didn't get it. I didn't get the joke. I still didn't get it. I'm blaming external things like the people who peeved me off. Oh, yes. Yes.

Robby 29:01

Um, but yeah, I don't I don't I don't know if that's so good. Such a good joke. So good. Yeah, isn't it? Um I also don't I don't get ridiculously angry.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

Hmm. I think that's come with age a bit too. I'm quite young, 22. Oh you don't look you look older. So you look weathered.

Robby 29:24

You look very weathered. I'm just yeah, marketing.

SPEAKER_00 29:28

It's a tough gig. Um ages you.

Robby 29:31

Yeah, I don't know. I don't I don't get I don't get ridiculously like I couldn't can't remember the last time I flipped out about something.

George 29:40

I can, but I I grounded myself very quickly not long after.

SPEAKER_00 29:46

How much did you flip out? Um I don't I don't know, like a lot. Okay at a scale of one to ten. Yeah, but like we throwing it across your office? Nah, not not that you punch desk, yeah. Maybe just a little tap.

Death, Time, And Perspective

George 30:01

A couple of jabs. A couple of jabs. Yeah, but even in that moment, it's like all right, you listen, but as soon as I calm down and and rec and reclaim my thoughts, I'm like, okay. Stupid. Everything there was just silly. No benefit to me, to my life, to that situation, nothing. Now I yeah, I feel like so much more in control of things as a result of just everything really that I've gone through. And I see the huge benefit of it.

Robby 30:31

Okay, so you've been reading a book. What's it called?

George 30:36

How not to worry. How not to worry? Yeah. And it's like the I think that's what it is. I think that's what it's called. And but it's not really about worrying, it's about the ancient process of being stoic and how to apply stoic to chaotic moments.

Robby 30:55

Okay.

George 30:55

What would um And I'm I'm like three chapters in.

Robby 30:59

So yeah, cool. Like, so what's what's been the first three chapters about? Like, what is it that you've taken away from it so far that's actually about stoicism and and taught you? Like, is there anything you've taken away or is it has it all kind of been like a reminder?

George 31:10

Oh, so far it's been more of a reminder, but looking forward to what the other chapters are about, like it's got stuff there about it's quite a recent book. So it's not one that's been written, you know, 15, 20 years ago. It's only come out post-COVID. So it's looking at stuff like how to how to handle death, how to handle social media, how to handle um difficult situations, um, how to just handle life, all these things. But again, from the pattern of what we just said before, it it is sort of making it that baseline of not happy, not sad, like you said before, which is interesting to look at. You know, I don't think I could, I don't think I would like that. I definitely don't like that aspect of it. So it's going to be interesting to see how the following chapters progress, and I'll keep you posted. But at the moment, based off what I've seen, it's saying, well, you know, yeah, don't you don't have to react in bad times, but you don't have to react in good times.

Robby 32:03

Do you would you say you're an emotional person?

George 32:08

I am. Yeah, I would say I would say, yes, I would say that.

Robby 32:11

You would say you're an emotional person?

George 32:13

Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Why? Because I feel emotions when they happen to me. Yeah.

Robby 32:20

So I think if you don't feel emotions, you're it's a definition of like a psychopath. Yeah, is it? Like if you feel if you feel no emotion, nothing, no empathy. Yeah, nothing. There's a there's a correct definition, I don't know what it is. But it's like if you don't feel I think if you don't feel bad or you don't feel anything, it's the definition of the thing. There's a problem. Yeah, there's something's not right there. You're a psycho.

George 32:38

Yeah, yeah. So I definitely would, yeah. I feel emotions all the day.

Robby 32:41

Yeah, love, happiness, sadness, whatever. You're an emotional person. Um I don't know.

George 32:51

I think still, yes. I think I do get emotional on certain things. It's just about the level of emotion. Oh, anything like it could be happiness, love, sadness, whatever it might be, stress. So there's definitely emotions that happen every single day. It's about how I ground myself and react to it.

Robby 33:09

Yeah, and do you contain that emotion?

George 33:12

Uh yeah, yeah, I think so. Yes, yes, yes. Well, I mean, you've even picked up on it a while, like many weeks or months ago, sorry, where you're saying, you know, you don't share too much. Like that was always a thing that I would keep in with myself.

Robby 33:24

Yeah.

George 33:24

Yeah, I would keep stuff in and not talk about it and just like handle it myself.

Memento Mori And Memento Vivere

Robby 33:28

Is that an emotion thing? I think someone's impression. Someone can be an emotional mess and still keep things in.

George 33:34

Yeah, yeah. I'm I'm sure they could. It depends how they handle keeping it in. Does it drive them? Does it not drive them? Does it affect them in every other way? That's I suppose that's the important thing. Like, how is it going to affect you if you're keeping it in? Is it affecting you negatively?

Robby 33:48

Yeah.

George 33:49

And what's your outlet? I think people do need an outlet. Yes, I've got a trampoline in my office. I've jump on it every time I come in. I don't even mean to. Uh, but yeah, like it could be simple, like, man, I I get energy when I'll go out with friends. And even if it's just like a dinner thing, you know, it's it's because I've I've grown up with these guys and I've experienced the highs, the lows, and it's like when you we meet up, because we don't meet up that often, we might meet up once a month, we try to meet up at least once a month, but you go out for dinner and you've come out before, and it's just like just talking shit for an hour, and it's like nothing's bothering you outside of that bubble. And then you have other times you might go out with a family, and it's the same thing, nothing's bothering you outside of that bubble in that moment. Um, so I think but if I went out with them or with my family or whatever it might be, and I was just sitting there, you know, holding everything in, not being able to cope, I think that's a problem. I think that's when suppressing your emotions becomes an issue.

Robby 34:52

Yeah, I think it's not about having no emotion, but it's like, you know, setting the boundary either side. So we don't get too sad, we don't get too happy. Right? Um if I said to you this person's gonna come in, they're really emotional. What's your expectation?

George 35:10

Oh, good one. Okay, I would I would say they're gonna be a head case. Oh, okay. They said they're really emotional. I I would think that's something I would say would upset them or make them really happy. If I said they're quite an emotional person, I would probably see that as almost as a negative thing, I think. Just thinking about if this person's emotional as fuck, like they are coming in, they're gonna be like a train wreck. Yeah, if I look at super emotional. So I'd be like, hi, how are you? Like I'd be almost walking on eggshells, interviewing them. You know, I don't want them to cry on the podcast. Or do I? Yeah, do I want I probably do get the ratings up.

SPEAKER_00 35:44

I'll cry my cry. I'll cry. Um okay, that's interesting.

George 35:50

So you so you what would you think? Hey, I got this person's coming in, super emotional. That's it.

Avoid YOLO And Avoid Forever Plans

Robby 35:57

Yeah, I would think um I would I would not if someone said I've got this person coming in, they're super emotional, and you walked in, I would be like, What? That's what I'm saying. And that's what I mean to say to you. Are you emotional? And you said, Yeah. I'm like, I don't know if you are. I would say I'm not really either. When I say not emotional, it's not that I don't feel things, yes, but it's that like Do you I kind of pray them? I'm gonna do the same thing no matter how I feel.

George 36:25

Yes. Yes, I yes, I'm very much like that.

Robby 36:28

Yeah, like if I wake up and I'm tired, I'm gonna go to the gym. Yeah, if I do what I mean, it's not like I'm gonna sit there, like I'm tired from work, I don't want to be here. Yeah, let me just get up in a bill. Yeah, I'm gonna go to work. You know what I mean? I'm going to get stuff done. I'm gonna I'll go home, even if I'm tired that day, I'll I won't just go lay in bed. Like I'll, you know what I mean? Um I'll do what needs to be done. I'll still see people, I'll still make calls, I'll still do what's required. Uh and I feel like if someone my emotions don't dictate my actions. And maybe that's the definition of an emotional person. Or is it someone who feels? Because every everyone feels everyone feels, yeah, really. Right? Every day. Every day, man. Yeah, it it's definitely um it's definitely an interesting topic.

George 37:21

Yeah, and concept. Yeah, I mean like it is interesting. Like I I think it's got good things and not and bad things, but uh overall I I think it's a powerful tool to use in stressful situations. That's where I like yeah, that's where I like to see.

Robby 37:35

What is it that makes you curious about it?

George 37:38

The I reckon it's there's a level of seeing the outcome with it, right? And just the logic, but you know what is it's the logic that I love. It's the logic behind it that I really like and I think resonates with me because you say like it's a sequential thing almost. The trigger happens, you pause, and you don't react, right? And by not doing that, you then have the outcome, and the outcome will generally be better than if you did react. So I kind of like that aspect behind it, and then it gives me a bit more control over that too. Swing things back into your the responsibility, that whole responsibility thing as well. So I think I really like that aspect of it. And because a lot of people don't do that, I feel like that's almost a leg up on every single person.

Robby 38:27

Yeah, I definitely it's amazing that we have an a negative connotation towards the word emotional, don't we?

George 38:34

Yeah, they're exactly right.

Your Life Is The Lucky Card

Robby 38:36

Just ask that question, it's like, yeah, that person's gonna come in, they're gonna be a mess. This person is emotional, they could be super happy. Yeah, could be pumped, yeah, could walk in rapped, and we're like, because they've said this person's coming in, they're super emotional. And most people on this listening to this would have thought, I was gonna say on this call, listening to this one would have thought the same thing, and they would have, you know, someone super emotional coming in. You're gonna think, oh fuck, like oh one second one second. No, no, like yeah, let me let me get ready.

George 39:03

Yeah, like let me just do my best behavior.

Robby 39:07

Yeah, let me do my non-superemotional behavior. Is that is that not the funniest shit? That's the best shit I've ever but it's but it's real. That's really how we thought about it without thinking about it. Yeah, it's really the first thing we we kind of jumped on to. Um, long story short.

George 39:29

So do you think the opposite of what's I don't even know what the opposite of being stoic is? It's super emotional. Do you think there's advantages of doing that? Do you think that that's a way to be going about things? Because imagine that. Imagine with everything that ever happened to you, you would react in a super positive way or a super negative way. You know, that's kind of the opposite.

Robby 39:53

Super positive or super positive.

George 39:55

Yeah, like if if a good thing happens, oh I'm so happy. If a bad thing happens, I'm so I'm so fucking sad. Yeah. Or so angry. Or so reactive. Either way, do you think being okay, maybe not emotional, maybe reactive. Being really reactive to something that happens to you.

Robby 40:13

But most emotions are reactions, aren't they? Do you know what I mean? You don't sit there like fuck it, eh? Oh, very rarely. Does anyone sit there? You know what? Okay, I'm gonna be happy for now. Yeah, and then I'm happy, it's usually, yeah, it's usually external forces. You know, you get some news, you get a text, you get an email, someone walks in, it's cold, it's hot, it's sunny, it's cloudy, it's raining. I'm tired on this, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 40:41

Yep.

Robby 40:42

It's never like a you know what, George? At 3 p.m., I'm gonna be happy. Yeah, you know what I mean? Starting from 3 p.m., I'm gonna schedule it.

SPEAKER_00 40:51

Schedule it in. Schedule it in. Good with that, dude. At 3 p.m., I'm gonna be happy. Hey, you know what? I'm proactive. 3 p.m. today, I was happy. You were? Of course. On the podcast.

Use Your Card And Live Fully

George 41:00

I was pumped. It's my favorite part of my day, favorite part of my week. So you are it's proactive. That's it. There was scheduled happiness. But do you get on saying? Yes, I do. All emotion is reactive reactivity. It's like that whole thing about emo uh motivation. You know, you can't you can't tap into motivation and be motivated at 3 p.m. to do work or to go to the gym or to do what it is. There's a level of discipline that comes with it and habit as well.

Robby 41:24

Do you think you can stop yourself from feeling too much and it can have a negative effect? Like obviously, obviously, the the extreme of it is you become a psycho. Yeah. But like you regulate your emotions. Is there a downside to that? So I'll give you a real a good example of this is Alex Homozy. That guy's like super logical, gives you provides the best fucking advice. Like he's you say he says shit, you're like, fuck, you are so right, dude. Um but he he even says it. I don't know if you watched his interview with Tony Robbins. I did. And he says the thing. Fantastic. And the I lack apathy. Yeah. Right? And he says, I lack apathy, which is the feeling bad for someone else. I'd be out caring.

SPEAKER_00 42:15

Yeah.

unknown 42:16

Yeah.

Robby 42:16

I mean, like someone comes and they're like, I don't have enough money. It's like, well, you should shit.

SPEAKER_00 42:19

Yeah, it's like stop.

Coin Giveaway And Closing

Robby 42:20

You suck, yeah. You can get better. Yeah. Your skill sets no good. Um, you know, or I'm trying to take my business from one million to two. Yeah, it's gonna suck. He always says that, right? Like he always says, I think it's gonna suck. And you know, that's the thing. Most people don't want to do the work, and it's gonna be work, and even if you like it now, it's gonna get to the point where you don't like it.

George 42:40

Yeah, and I think that comes from his experience of doing all that stuff and being in that position and it's sucking, and it, you know, that's what he it's his story, so he leans really hard into that. And it's like, well, I did it, I didn't fucking feel sorry for you, sort your shit out, or don't like I don't give a fuck, right? And I kind of get like that sometimes too, when it comes to say when it comes to even subcontractors, right? I'll have a subby on a job and it's like, oh, I've got to do this, I've got to do this. And it might be a bit into okay, I'll give you an example. Someone was having a kid, all right, and it's like, oh, I've got to go, you know, we've got to go to the scans, I've got to go to this, I've got to, oh my man, your fucking problems are not my problems, man. Like, I don't give a fuck, right? Just do the job. Yeah, we've all had kids before. Everyone's done this before. You're not the only fucking special human being in the world. Make it work. Yeah. All right.

Robby 43:34

I shouldn't have to, my job shouldn't be to let you know.

George 43:36

I'm not having a kid scan. Like, I'm not having a kid. I'm not holding your wife's hand. Like, but I get it as well. Like, okay, these are important things that you need to take care of. Yeah. But there's a level of it where it comes back to what you were saying. I've got uh a bit of lack with that. And that might not be a child, it might be something else going on. Yeah, you know, I've got to do whatever, I've got to go do this, I've got to drop off my mother in law, I've got to whatever it is, right? Your problems are. not my problems. And yeah, that just annoys me. I had another a while ago, I had a subby that pulled out of a job and he was trying to get out of the project and doing everything. And I'm like, okay, look, this is where it's at. Consequences, yeah. Like I could have, if I felt really empathetic for him, like, all right, man, don't worry, I'll take care of it. You know, sorry to see you go, whatever. I'll pay for it. This is going to cost me an extra 20 grand or whatever. All right. But I was like, no, fuck you. Mate, you're going to pay this is either going to cost you 40 grand or you're going to finish the job. You decide what you want to do. Okay. But the next step is after this conversation, whatever you decide, great. But my solicitors will get involved or you're finishing the job. Like sort your shit out. So and for him to go, oh you this will send me broke, I'm like fucking sorry. Like not sorry. Sorry, not sorry. That's what it would have been. I'm going to go broke if you do this. Oh I'm going to be out on the street if you do this. I said, well man.

Robby 44:55

Okay. So so you know how you talk about both ends. There's the side because there's a side where emotion comes in where all of a sudden you're like well I probably wouldn't do that.

SPEAKER_00 45:07

Yeah.

Robby 45:07

Like for example I'll give you like a real extreme example. Yeah. If the plumber was your brother.

SPEAKER_00 45:12

Yeah.

Robby 45:13

You're probably not you're probably going to be like well fuck you fucked me.

SPEAKER_00 45:17

Yeah.

Robby 45:17

But I'm going to have to cop this. Yeah. You know what I mean? Or you know I'm going to try and hold him accountable. But if it's that's what I'm saying.

George 45:23

Isn't it like but then again like do you go down that path too? Oh fuck I don't want to give anything away here but I okay I had a family member that I was doing some business with recently. Yeah. And things were going down a path and I go to this person I said hey I need you to know something right now. You're fucking with my business and my life okay if it goes further than this point I go I promise you solicitors are getting involved and I will fucking go all the way. It will ruin this relationship. Okay. Okay, because you're talking about my business and how I provide food on the table and which has a flow and effect for family and stuff like that. Yeah. So I actually said that but I guess you've got to be willing to get to that point and say well how badly is this actually affecting you? And does it get to the point where you say well am I going to sacrifice my business my life my family because you're not to sacrifice yours so I would look at it at that and that's where I start to get am I the like I am I an arsehole? Maybe maybe but if I have to pick I'm picking my team every time that feeds his family. That's right. I go hey I'm sorry family member that you're now going broke but you fucking laid this bed.

Robby 46:44

Okay so so go back to the the plumber situation. Yeah. All right. And it's like okay hey George plumber's going broke on your job I don't give a fuck uh George it's been our plumber for 10 years. Oh I still don't give a fuck George it's your brother okay I kind of care now. Yeah yeah like do you get what I'm saying there's levels to George it's your brother I don't give a fuck. George it's your brother and he's going through some shit and if you do this he's going to end up on the street. Yeah. Okay now I care. Do you know what I mean? Like there's always a a point where there is yes it kind of flips to the other side. Yeah and it all depends on just details. Yeah. It's the same situation.

SPEAKER_00 47:23

The same situation.

Robby 47:24

Builder had a plumber go broke.

SPEAKER_00 47:25

Yeah. Fucking wild isn't it's cool. Yes there's that well that's yeah it's subjective. Like you now are looking at it and going to context that's right.

George 47:34

That's all it is. That's right.

Robby 47:36

Because you're right if it was the other if that was the case all right like but and then even even if you let's just say for example I don't this is not the case for you but like let's just say uh or for like you you don't like your brother at all and you earn your brother a complete disagreement and you're like no fuck that guy and then you're like they think I don't care he's in the street I don't care. And then it's like your mum calls and she says hey he's at my door like can you do this for me? Yeah. And then you're like fuck like I'll do this. Like you know I mean I'm done for her I'm not done for him.

George 48:07

Yeah.

Robby 48:08

But it's still like there's that's right.

George 48:09

There's I'm going to lose the house now because your brother's name is on the list. Yeah it's like so you decide like you join your mum on the street? Yeah your mum's getting on the street. So yes there again so many levels to it. Yeah and it's but the same situation.

SPEAKER_00 48:23

Yeah. And it's like but then would Alex do the same?

George 48:27

You know so that's you're saying he he didn't have he doesn't have any apathy for people like that.

Robby 48:32

A lack of apathy.

George 48:33

Yeah if it was his brother doing that or his mum or whatever it might be again someone really closely related to him it would probably change his perspective a little bit too 100%.

Robby 48:41

Yeah. But it's a it's a spectrum.

George 48:43

Yeah.

Robby 48:43

So it's like at what point is the balance right? At what point is it like cool man it's just you like because if you go full logic like full logic logic logic. Yeah that's right. And if you go full emotional you're fucking mess.

George 48:58

Yeah.

Robby 48:58

Yeah it has to be you can't make any fucking decision. Like you're you're like everything we try and tell you to do you're fucking over the moon and you take it too far or you're you know you're too sad and you can't get out of bed.

George 49:10

Yeah.

Robby 49:11

And it's like and maybe there's no perfect mix I guess everyone reacts differently but it's like you trying to find that balance of how do I live a fulfilling enough life so that I can still feel everything and get the joy from seeing my kids, my parents, my family my this, my that, my and suppress my emotions enough not so that I never feel them but so that I have enough control and that's what a moment to take this in and say okay cool let me you know very few people I'm going to make a statement here. I'm probably going to be wrong but I'm going to go for it.

George 49:47

Can you yeah make sure it's can't get us cancelled. Yes it could be controversial.

Robby 49:52

Very very few people I think would sit there saying I'm I'm I make supermercial decisions and they're great. Right. Very few people or you know I I I act fast and I'm always right and it's like yeah probably not. Yeah especially if you're reacting to particular things. And I think taking that time out of the emotion without suppressing it you know what I mean? Because like if you lived an emotional life and nothing had any purpose or meaning or anything I'm going to share something with you right now you just fucking remind me and it's fucking sick. And if nothing had any purpose or meaning or anything like that it would be like what a waste. Yeah that that element's like what a waste like what are we doing here? Yeah like if you don't get to experience the highs and lows what's the point but then also if you're only experiencing the highs and lows and your life's a fucking mess that doesn't sound amazing either. You know so I guess I'd be keen to hear what you think.

George 50:49

You got to embrace it man like it's like how it's going to happen. Like you're going to have the goods and you're going to have the bads like it's as simple as that. It's going to happen in your life there's going to be moments in your life that are going to be incredibly difficult. And there's going to be moments in your life that are just incredibly ecstatic. Yeah. Yeah that's going to be the greatest thing ever you know you're going to have someone close to you die. Someone really close to you one day is going to die. And that's going to be a really bad moment for you. But then you're going to have the birth of a child. You're going to have whatever it is getting married. Did you cry have any kids at all? Um no not in the moment but post I did. You know or just I'll have moments now where I'll think about something and I'm just like you know the greatest thing ever I can't find it right now but I'll find it to you and it's a it's a a poem like a guy reading a poem about life and God.

Robby 51:48

It's fucking great to say concept with you up.

George 51:50

Yeah definitely send it to me but I may have heard it actually I think I've heard it and he's saying the words and it's like a letter that he's written but it's in a poem form. Yeah yeah yeah yeah I think I've heard it but send it to me anyway when you find it I gotta I can't remember the guy's name I've got to find the guy um but yeah so do you think about death along what a great segue yeah because I was actually going to go down that path. Oh really? Yeah for right because you just mentioned it and I just recently I do I I I don't know what's because I'm 40 and I'm nearly there you know I'm over the hill.

Robby 52:27

Yeah I was over the hill man I I have lately more than ever before you know and what I don't think that slows down what do you mean you know how like you say like I have more than ever before I think for everyone as your life goes yeah you become more and more conscious of yes yeah oh like yeah okay this is like we're we're really we're really getting some innings we're getting some runs on the board but also like you the time is fading.

SPEAKER_00 52:56

Yeah.

Robby 52:56

The amount of time left is is increasingly decreasing.

George 53:00

Yeah. Is that a fucking I get it it does it does make sense in my head anyway. Yeah but yes like it's getting smaller and smaller and it's like maybe my parents being my age thinking they're old as fuck.

Robby 53:14

Oh yeah I remember thinking I was I put up a post when I uh my last birthday I'm 34 now I'm like when I was 10 33 I was like I remember thinking 33 was so fucking old I feel like a kid.

George 53:24

I remember thinking 27 was old. 27 old as fuck yeah we had we had this one I remember I was working in uni and I was building some fences and there was this guy that was 27 and me and my mate were like fuck this guy's old 27 he's building fences like what the fuck yeah he's old as fuck yeah look he's fucking no you know and that's funny that that I would have thought about that. But yeah coming back to what you said so at my training when I made everyone cry and I might make you cry now too I can't guarantee you won't. I might cry first yeah before so can't give you credit. But I need to tell you something that I haven't told many people I actually I haven't even told my wife this okay that's how full on and you guys are hearing it first now. But so for some time now I've known something and it's that my time is limited. My time is limited here and it's something that I've been thinking about a lot and been wrestling with and partly the reason why I try and do so much. You know often people ask me why are you going and doing and training builders like just fucking be a great builder why go out and teach other people how to do things why go interstate why get on stage why go on fancy holidays and go buy the nice cars and live in nice areas and you know why are you living the way you're living and it's because my time is limited it's because I don't have as much time as someone else you know I am I'm dying I am terminally ill and it's been something that I've been wrestling with with for quite some time and something that I think about all the time. And I don't know when my time is going to be up I don't know when my when I'm clicking out but I do know it's coming. It's coming for each and every one of us and I remind myself of that on a regular basis now. I remind myself that I am going to die. And I do that even with a a small token which I'm holding here for those of you listening and not watching but I've got a coin that I'm holding and on this coin it says memento mori. Memento mori is Latin and it means you're going to die. Remember you are going to die. There is going to come a day when you are going to die. So why aren't you out there doing absolutely everything you possibly can to live the best and most fulfilling life on the other side of the coin it says Memento viveri remember you are also going to live and that coin just having it in my pocket sometimes I have it in my laptop bag I I regularly touch it, feel it, have it next to me and it's a powerful reminder to go, well, just give it a crack. Give everything a go every emotion every experience everything you can possibly do in your life right now go and do it because you are going to die one day it's not going to matter in two three four generations time they're not even going to remember you obviously they'll keep listening to this podcast for eons but eons but I'm not going to be here to see their reactions to feel what they're feeling to see what they're doing none of that stuff. I'm going to be gone I'm going to be dust so go out and live your life do as much as you possibly can experience as much as you possibly can and that's what I try to do.

Robby 56:48

Oh it's actually written on in English on this.

George 56:50

Yeah.

Robby 56:51

So it says on one side it says memento mori remember you must die. You must and then on the other side it says memento vivari which means remember to live yeah so it was a powerful little tool and the way I probably delivered it a little bit more um deep when I had my training and I had some people thinking I was actually telling them I was terminally ill.

George 57:16

But we are your time's limited we are like it's all limited I said guys there's no guarantee I'm getting home tonight. I could die in the car on the way back to the hotel where I'm staying I could get on the plane from Central Coast and it go down in a ball of flames and who knows I may have seen my family for the last time on Wednesday night when I left yeah I may that's a very real fucking possibility guys all right I might die from the airport to home in a horrific car accident. And the last thing I did last thing I said whatever it might be was XYZ with my kids with my family with my friends whatever it is. You know and why live in a negative way at any stage of your life why live in a way of regret or sadness or anything and not to say you're never going to experience that but don't live in it. Don't be in that moment for the rest of your life experience it move on and this is where having a level of being stoic has helped me get through times. It's hey we're going to die it's not going to matter what you're feeling right now it's going to pass. What you're feeling right now it's good it's not going to matter everything you own everything you own everything you have is either going to perish or it's going to be given to someone else eventually you're not taking anything with you. Your house your car your clothes your money nothing comes with you yeah it's a um it's a thought it's it's good to be reminded it's good to be reminded very good to be reminded and I don't think as you said when you're younger you don't think about that sort of stuff you're going to live forever.

Robby 58:56

Yeah but yeah that's what I'm saying like because like I think about it more and more and then you start to think about like the other things like like at some point you're going to lose a parent a sibling you know your wife or husband like that's going to happen and it's like you need to look at that it's a it's a wild thought when you think about it because then you're like that's that day it's not here now so don't be sad now because that day's going to come and you're going to have to be sad then.

George 59:21

Yeah.

Robby 59:21

Yeah don't wash your day to be a little bit being sad now yeah it's like just appreciate this right now. That's right. But then there's also the other side you know it's all like it's all spectrums George like everything is a balance because you could live both sides of this you could live like the YOLO bro that's fucking we're not living tomorrow I'm just going to live for today I'm going to eat like a fat fuck. I'm going to fucking never train why would I go to the gym that's right never going to train I'm not going to do any of that jazz. I'm not going to read I'm not going to invest I'm not going to what's the point YOLO what if I die tomorrow yeah you could live like that and you probably live a pretty hard life but then the other spectrum is like you could live like you're live going to live forever and never appreciate the current moment. Yeah never experience anything yeah and you can be like nah I'll do it later I'll do it later I need to do it like you know later I'll do it later nah don't spend any money nah don't do this nah don't have any experiences nah you know what I mean don't take any risks don't eat anything like you know only and it's like you want to find your balance and I think it's all about perspective as well. Yeah I uh and we'll close with this I read this thing the other day and said imagine life is a deck of cards there's eight billion cards you get handed your card your card now is your life you can put your card back in the deck and pick another card if you want are you gonna do it fuck no exactly fuck no dude you're like there's no fucking way what imagine you do it and you wake up and you're a a guy with one leg in Zimbabwe that's fucked that guy that's a guy that's a real that's someone someone gets that life someone has the life of being born in a third world country missing a limb and they have to live that life that's the life that's the card they picked and it's like you pick this card and there's a good chance if you're listening to this you're probably in a fucking great country you know I mean you probably have everything at arm's length you you forget about how good your life is you forget you forget about how fucking great it is to have everything you want you know I mean the odds of pulling out a better card than the card you have right now it's fucking slim. So fucking slim but we just get so used to it so used to everything as it is yeah I saw a clip of Jimmy Carr the other day saying no one anyone you admire from over a hundred years ago never got to have our shower when was the last time you were in the shower and sat there this is sick. Yeah what a life now you know and you're like oh quick out of shower but because I'm gonna go do this and blah blah it's like you get upset if it was cold. A hundred years ago is not that long it's not that long ago yeah there's people who were born a hundred years ago that are alive now they saw hot water come in that fucking that's pretty sick isn't it um you probably wouldn't change your life if that was the case if that was the if someone gave someone played God right now and said hey try your luck put you put your card back in and pick another card.

George 1:02:30

Give it a crack you're gonna do it I'm not no chance I don't think you are either so then use your fucking card use your card take that card and actually do everything you possibly can with it. You know don't just put it at the bottom of the pile don't just put it on the corner somewhere and just go that's my card I'm gonna leave it there. Go and experience life go and have happy moments go and have sad moments because they're gonna grow your character they're gonna it's part of it's part of the journey you have to have the roller coaster guys you have to otherwise you know just disconnect from the world go be a monk and live on a mountain and don't have connections with anyone just inner peace if that's what you're after. Okay otherwise do you have more of those coins I do I'll give you one if you like one who do you who else are you going to give one to I'll tell you what if someone must be subscribed to the channel and sends us a comment anywhere anywhere.

Robby 1:03:24

It has to be the first guy though the f or girl now you know what make it a make it a an Instagram DM okay good let's let's mix it up yeah this is a valuable thing that's right yeah work for it go go to Instagram and I want you to send us a DM and just say Memento Mori and we'll send you a coin we'll get your details and the team will send you out a Memento Mori coin and um remember you must die and remember you also must live all right guys thank you so much that's not a note to go and do what you want with your life um I don't know what is but thanks for listening and unless we die we'll see you next week.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:14

Thanks everyone that's so good